Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The dog and banana bread debacle

I would like to tell a little story of a dog. A very cute dog who is very spoiled and most times very sweet. Except she is really, REALLY needy. As in I feel like she is connected to me by some invisible tether.

This is the dog in question, Tovah. I wasn't kidding when I said there was a major cute factor...

So here's what happened...yesterday I was making Choco-chip Banana bread. I opened the oven about 50 minutes into the baking time to check the breads (I always make 2 at a time). Just as I was pulling our 1 loaf  to check and rotate the pans, I stepped back AND onto Tovah. There was a LOUD YIP! (from her), obscenities (from me) and like the Goliath slain giant I was going down...hard.

Somehow I managed to NOT burn myself, break the glass pan,(or my neck) OR kill my dog after I landed over and on her. Although I can't guarantee it didn't register on the Richter scale. Can you imagine the geeky geologists manning their seismic activity stations?--Holy Crap-It's the BIG one in Southwestern...Ohio... Suffice it to say there was a HORRENDOUS mess because the bread was not finished baking.

Because not only was there partially baked banana bread goo everywhere, the incident literally scared the piss out of my dog. So there was a trail of piss (not counting my trail of tears as I limped, hobbled and cussed) dragging the mop and bucket with me to clean it up.

Unfortunately there is no photo of the banana bread goo. I had to clean it up before my dog Chubbs (aka the canine garbage disposal) tried to help. Because that would have resulted in a different kind of mess completely. And besides the resulting mess sorta reminded me of a particular night in my early 20's involving to much Bacardi 151, raisinettes and peanut butter cookies. I didn't eat either again for probably 15 years. So yeah you kinda get the visual. No one wants to see that....


Today I feel like I was the heavy bag used by Tony (aka KRYPTONITE)  Lopez, 2012 MMA Heavyweight champion


My backside is more tender than a prime rib on the early bird special. The bruises will soon exhibit all their technicolor glory of purple, blue green and yellow. Maybe even  art canvas worthy. As for my dog--she is still cute, very annoying but much quicker to step away from me. Although in the future I think I will put up the baby gate across the kitchen. And the worst part of this debacle--I kinda lost my appetite for the sole survivor loaf of banana bread. And that's kinda crumby....

That's right folks I am here all week!


9 comments:

  1. You has a great blog. I'm just blog walking, and very interesting to stopping here and leaves you a comment. Good work.

    Lets keep writing and blogging

    Nb: Dont forget to leave your comment back for us.

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  2. Ahhhaaaa! I'm so sorry, I don't mean to laugh so loudly (wish you could hear me as I read). I have a horrible glitch in me. I laugh uncontrollably at people falling. I'm such a horrible person I know, but true. No worries, after I cuss and throw a tantrum fit I laugh when I biff it too. Any who, it was hilarious because I trip over my pups all.the.time. That's why I write about her, she's really always in my way. I'm familiar with that loud yip. Hope your bumps and bruises feel better soon! ;)Tovah is adorable btw

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    1. Hi Sonya! LOL it's ok--I have the same glitch! Tovah is cute and I love her even if she is trying to kill me. Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. Why do our pets have the uncanny ability to predict where our next step will be--and then why do they go there? Glad you and Tovah are okay--that could have bad, but the trail of piss cracked me up. I totally get the visual--I had the same sort of incident with Bacardi in my 20's, too.

    Hope you're not too sore in the morning!

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    1. Hi Donna! It is funny...NOW. The trail of piss sucked but I am glad it wasn't the other! What is is with Bacardi? I still can't smell rum to this day because of that, haha

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  4. OMG, funniest post ever. The pictures going through my head are hysterical. Glad everyone is ok.

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    1. Hey FM--just my pride was injured. Glad you have imagination because I would have had to kill someone if there had been actual photographic evidence, haha!

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  5. I can totally relate -- our GSD Buck is my shadow. A needy feller as well. Although I love him dearly, he is never 2 steps behind me. Hope you and your little one recuperate quickly!

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    1. Hi Nancy! We have recovered except Tovah is just a little more nervous than before. Poor little thing, lol I can only imagine how it looked from her perspective ((shudders))

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