Saturday, February 14, 2015

23 years

Handmade card for the hubbs
26 years ago I met the man who took my breath away at first sight and who would forever change my life.  It could not have been easy for the hubbs to go from bachelor to instant family. The hubbs has always said "it was easy falling in love". Then I joke "it was hard living with me". He will wink and smile as we laugh together...

After a few years our relationship progressed and we found ourselves standing nervously in judges chambers in Batavia, Ohio with a few family and friends, to witness us joining in marriage.

Our marriage ceremony was impromptu but the sentiment behind it was not. It had taken some cajoling on the hubb's part for me to agree to marriage since I was a bit of a commitment-phobe given the lack of examples of long term marriages in my family. I used to joke that the hubbs family was the epitome of Norman Rockwell but mine was epitome of Norman Bates, haha.

We had begun planning a wedding but it was so much hassle (complaints about the date/time/ location/ design and the fact we had planned on serving alcohol at our reception). Finally, we said to heck with it and called it off. Then we began talking in earnest about how marriage was for us and not to please anyone else. So after a case of last minute cold feet we decided to take the plunge.

23 years ago we stood before a judge dressed in red robes, recited our vows and committed to each other. It wasn't fancy or what most would consider classy but it was honest and heartfelt. The hubbs was on his lunch break wearing his uniform and I wore a navy suit dress.

In 23 years we have grown as people and our marriage, at times, was tattered as an old newspaper. We both have been guilty at times of tearing each other down and hell bent on destroying our relationship; instead of building each other  up and strengthening our relationship. We have been through heartache, loss and despair.

In 23 years we have also experienced so many positive things. We have had love, happiness and contentment. We have evolved as individuals and grown as a couple. We have made the hard decisions to stand fight for us. We don't take what we have together for granted. A marriage is work. Hard work!   It is all too easy to become complacent and blame the other person for whatever conceived issue that wedged itself between each other.  Whatever mistakes we have made--we have acknowledged them. Owned them. Accepted them. We do NOT continue to pull past mistakes as arsenal and use it against one another. All that does is tear at the fabric of our union. Love is the thread that combines us. I can only hope, is our thread remains continuous and strong enough to hold the pieces of each us together as one.

23 years ago I married the man who is truly the love of my life. I thought I knew love before, but that was a facade. Mistaking crushes or infatuations for soul baring-change your psyche- kind of love. He is my friend, my lover, my confidante and my partner. He is one half to my whole. I consider us blessed as we have become the example of what a long term relationship, a happy marriage, and a commitment looks like. Happy Anniversary and Happy Valentine's Day to the man strong enough to be partner. The man who claimed my heart. The man who accepts me as I am--not perfect, but perfect for him.


4 comments:

  1. Happy, wonderful, Valentines Day and Anniversary to you both! Much love from Texas!

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    1. Thank you FM. I hope you and SM had a wonderful Valentine's Day!!

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  2. Wow--nicely done!
    Happy Anniversary to you both. Sounds like a match made in heaven.

    I'm also fortunate to have found my dream guy! I just wish I had the words to say it like you do!!

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    1. Thank you Sue. Someone commented on FB post yesterday that it is rare for couples to make it as long as we have. Which makes me kind of sad but proud as well. I am glad you found your dream guy also. And as long as you speak from the heart the words will always be the right one's :)

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