Showing posts with label rain boots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rain boots. Show all posts

Friday, January 13, 2012

The Fatted Calf

Curse my Eastern European heritage!! I come from hearty peasant stock as evident with my short stocky (some say fat, I say fluffy) frame. However, TODAY,  I have reached my breaking point. My crazy awesome muck-luk rain boots arrived and they do not fit over my muscular calves!! GAH...I am dying. 



I actually have shapely legs. It one of the few places the fat didn't settle. I am so depressed. The boots are even more obnoxiously vibrant in their fantastic plastic reality.  Even if I greased up like a pig and pole I couldn't get these suckers to slide over my calves. I need medical intervention. Is there a surgical procedure for  calvesplasty or lipocalvesostemy?

OH the horror! I shall have to settle for plain yucky boots from megawallymart.  Booooo.