Silver Anniversary

25 years ago on Valentine's Day, the now hubbs and I stood in the judges chambers and exchanged vows with cheap gold bands. We were married on his lunch break. I wore a navy blue suit dress and he wore his work uniform. This decision to marry was not made on a whim. We had planned on a having a "real" wedding with a fancy dress, tuxedo, candles, flowers, and cake. But it didn't happen. We had plenty of love and very little money. The hubbs sure did sign up for a lot more than he expected when he met, fell in love and married me. I was as broken as person could be, dragging a cartload of issues and beautiful little girl with me. He didn't just become my husband that day. He became an instant father. My friend, my confidant, and counselor.

Over the years we have struggled on so many levels with health issues, money issues, all the external forces and stresses found in most relationships. In addition we were learning to grow as individuals, how to be comfortable with ourselves and each other.
There were a couple of times we nearly quit and tossed the word divorce around. It was ugly, heartbreaking and emotionally devastating. Yet somehow, we found a tiny sliver of hope, realizing we still had enough love to overcome the anger and animosity. Then began the arduous task of repairing our relationship.

Many people tell us we are "lucky" to have such a long marriage, I disagree. We are lucky to have crossed paths and find a connection. We are blessed to have have such a deep rooted love. But in truth we have worked very hard to maintain our relationship. Twenty five years married. No small feat in today's world. I have been married half my life. Some days it seems an eternity. Some days I wonder how it has passed so quickly.

While I know I often talk smack about the hubbs, it is all in jest. I truly appreciate him. He has been a stabilizing force in my life. He has been a great father and a wonderful friend. I admire the man he has become. The safest place I can be, is when he wraps me in his arms. And the best part is when I look in his beautiful blue eyes and see so much love reflected there.

I truly love this man of mine. I love him in good times and bad. And in sickness and health. I love him when he makes me laugh. I still love him when he makes me cry. I don't always love him when he tracks mud on my floor or leaves dirty towels on the carpet. Then I sigh, because he has loved me with all my flaws and surely I can love him through his.

So twenty five years ago we may not have had the "real" wedding as dictated by society, but we certainly have had a real marriage. Full of challenges. Full of expectations. Full of surprises. But mostly full of of hope and love.

Twenty five years ago when we stood in the judges chambers and exchanged vows, we had no idea the path our lives would take. We were young, naive and eternally optimistic. We were certain love conquers all. And all these years later, as we have we have discovered, it did indeed.

Here's to another twenty five!

   
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23 years

Handmade card for the hubbs

26 years ago I met the man who took my breath away at first sight and who would forever change my life.  It could not have been easy for the hubbs to go from bachelor to instant family. The hubbs has always said "it was easy falling in love". Then I joke "it was hard living with me". He will wink and smile as we laugh together...

After a few years our relationship progressed and we found ourselves standing nervously in judges chambers in Batavia, Ohio with a few family and friends, to witness us joining in marriage.

Our marriage ceremony was impromptu but the sentiment behind it was not. It had taken some cajoling on the hubb's part for me to agree to marriage since I was a bit of a commitment-phobe given the lack of examples of long term marriages in my family. I used to joke that the hubbs family was the epitome of Norman Rockwell but mine was epitome of Norman Bates, haha.

We had begun planning a wedding but it was so much hassle (complaints about the date/time/ location/ design and the fact we had planned on serving alcohol at our reception). Finally, we said to heck with it and called it off. Then we began talking in earnest about how marriage was for us and not to please anyone else. So after a case of last minute cold feet we decided to take the plunge.

23 years ago we stood before a judge dressed in red robes, recited our vows and committed to each other. It wasn't fancy or what most would consider classy but it was honest and heartfelt. The hubbs was on his lunch break wearing his uniform and I wore a navy suit dress.

In 23 years we have grown as people and our marriage, at times, was tattered as an old newspaper. We both have been guilty at times of tearing each other down and hell bent on destroying our relationship; instead of building each other  up and strengthening our relationship. We have been through heartache, loss and despair.

In 23 years we have also experienced so many positive things. We have had love, happiness and contentment. We have evolved as individuals and grown as a couple. We have made the hard decisions to stand fight for us. We don't take what we have together for granted. A marriage is work. Hard work!   It is all too easy to become complacent and blame the other person for whatever conceived issue that wedged itself between each other.  Whatever mistakes we have made--we have acknowledged them. Owned them. Accepted them. We do NOT continue to pull past mistakes as arsenal and use it against one another. All that does is tear at the fabric of our union. Love is the thread that combines us. I can only hope, is our thread remains continuous and strong enough to hold the pieces of each us together as one.

23 years ago I married the man who is truly the love of my life. I thought I knew love before, but that was a facade. Mistaking crushes or infatuations for soul baring-change your psyche- kind of love. He is my friend, my lover, my confidante and my partner. He is one half to my whole. I consider us blessed as we have become the example of what a long term relationship, a happy marriage, and a commitment looks like. Happy Anniversary and Happy Valentine's Day to the man strong enough to be partner. The man who claimed my heart. The man who accepts me as I am--not perfect, but perfect for him.

True Love

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today also happens to be mine and the hubbs 21st wedding anniversary.

We have never followed the traditional gift giving guidelines, although there are traditional and modern guidelines. For more information follow this LINK. Besides the 21st anniversary doesn't have any suggestions--I guess they figure you are to broke from buying all the china, haha

I have a little bit of a confession. I had a full blown rant yesterday because the hubbs told me he was going to buy me flowers. Not because he told me he was buying me flowers, because I felt like he doesn't know what is important to me.

It kinda went something like this as I took to social media to vent my frustration...

OK--not to be ungrateful but I am about to have full blown rant. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It also happens to be our 21st wedding anniversary. During casual conversation he happen to mention he will be getting me roses. 
1) Do I like roses? Yes but I like rose PLANTS--NOT cut flowers unless I am clipping them from MY garden. Otherwise they are ridiculously overpriced 
2) We have been together almost 24 years-how in the hell does he still have NO CLUE as to what I like/ dislike
3) I don't mind him telling me what he is getting me because I abhor (bad) surprises. What bothers me is he is waiting until the LAST possible minute to get some routine, random gift. With no forethought or planning. It isn't like he has had an ENTIRE year to think of something!!

You know what would be the PERFECT anniversary gift? Spend time with me. We can watch a movie and cook dinner together. You want to get me gift? Great. How about a new planter box, seeds of the month club, or garden wagon. Or better yet how about a donation to my favorite charity? For one these items are practical and two it indicates to me you listen to me and KNOW what I am interested in. Do not just slap down money on something which will wither and die with a few days. Do not buy me jewelery because I am not a shiny kind of girl. And btw I am NOT dissing those of you who like that stuff I am speaking for ME. Seriously how in the hell can he not know after almost 24 yrs what speaks to me, what matters and what I hold dear???!!!! GGGRRRRRR

Rather bratty of me, don't ya think? siiiggghhh

Once I calmed down and had the night to figure out my apologies think about it, I realized a couple of things.

1st- it is not about the gifts or presents. Everyday we have together is a gift. And I am thankful that!

2nd-The hubbs is exactly who I am supposed to be with. He is mellow and laid back. The perfect foil to my short temper. 

3rd-He does know what matters to me and shows me in a lot of different ways the other 364 days of the year.

Like when I fall asleep reading, he gently takes the glasses from my face, retrieves the book/ magazine that has fallen from hands (usually to land on the floor) and turns the lamp off.

Like when I am taking a nap he makes sure I am covered with a blanket, tells the dogs to hush and not wake mommy.

Like when he brings me home surprise gift from dumpster diving or curbside rescue.

Like how he lugs the heavy baskets of laundry up and down the stairs for me--even when I know he is tired and hurting from a hard day's work.

Like how he doesn't mind constantly retrieving things from the closets and kitchen cabinets that I am to short to reach--even while standing on the step ladder.

Like how every night when I make dinner whether it is a sandwich or a meal, he always says "Thanks babe--you're the bestest!"

Like every morning before he leaves for work, he kisses me on cheek, tucks me and whispers he loves me (while he thinks I am asleep).

Like how even when I am being completely irrational, temperamental and bratty, he stays calm, hugs me, tells me he loves me. Sometimes he even tweaks my chin and tells me I'm cute when I am mad, haha

Like how I will catch him watching me with his beautiful blue eyes and reflected in them is me as the girl he met and fell in love with nearly 24 years ago. 

Like when he hugs me I feel safe and know there is no other for me.

I could go on and on, because there truly are thousand little things that he does everyday, without fanfare, wrapping paper or need of a special occasion.

We may fuss and fight (and by we I mean me), we may not always take the same approach when dealing with life's problems-big or small- but we always come together to meet the challenges as a team. We have had many challenges and obstacles, but we have had many more laughs, many memories and always love. 

So Happy 21st Anniversary Mr. Cozy Little Farmhouse

Valentines Day in Review

This year was a biggie wedding anniversary. 20 yrs! I wrote my hubbs a very public love letter here. 

Due to unforeseen circumstances (my hubbs experienced a recent back injury), we were not able to have any big shindig or celebration. I guess that is that whole for better for worse or sickness and in health clause in our marriage vows, haha. Just kidding. 

Our big excitement for the day was taking him to the doctor and going out to eat breakfast. The funniest part is when we sang Happy Anniversary to each other in the car, haha. We're nerds like that!

I did get a lovely bouquet of flowers from a roadside vendor

My mom made us a chocolate covered strawberries, a cake, some chocolate candies(um yeah those may have been eaten before I could get a picture, ahem)  and sent us a card.

How incredibly thoughtful was that?!

Me and the hubbs enjoyed a low key day, just spending time with one another and with minimal fanfare. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I am very appreciative of all the people who sent well wishes to us. But I am most thankful and appreciative for my big ole stoic hubbs.  I think we would  be lost without each other. (Him more than me, haha). 

Hope everyone had a lovely day!