Giving the gift of garden

May 30th was my daughter's birthday. I did give her the usual food gift certificate but I wanted to give her something else. She has talked about having a garden but the truth is, she and her husband work so much, that a garden would not be such a good idea.

Then I bumped into this while shopping at Lowes.

It is a raised bed, self watering container for your deck or patio. It was very easy to put together. In under 15 minutes it was assembled and planted with a few of my daughter's favorite plants.

Perforated grid and water tube

It is on wheels for easy movement, nice!

Pack the dirt very tight in the corners for proper wicking

2 Flat leaf italian parsley, 2 edamame, 1 yellow squash, 2 red peppers and I tucked marigolds into 3 corners to work as natural insect repellents.

I soaked the soil and sprayed water into the water tube until water came out of the weep holes, which allows for about an inch or so of water.

A Patio beefsteak complete with it's own cage.Not on wheels.

There are already tomatoes on the the vine!

I had to toss in some Zinnia's because they are happy!

I hope this gives her the gardening bug, helps her relax after a stressful day and she enjoys the vegetables of her minimal labor, haha.

Birthday Wishes to my Daughter

May 30, 1986 at 4:51am gave me the most precious gift of my life--my daughter.

I can't believe she is 29. Where has all the time gone?!

What happened to my little blue-eyed blonde bundle of energy? 

The inquisitive elementary kid?

I blinked and she was tween!

I blinked again and she was in high school! It's ok because she was kinda moody. We don't miss some of those years, haha

A beautiful young woman on the road to her he future--even if the future was sometimes a little bumpy

She dated her HS sweetheart, they went to college, were madly in  love and got married.

Now she is a serious adult

 working to make her career in management.

She and her husband bought a house a few years ago. 

They live there with the grandpuppies(2) and grand kitties (4).

Bubba Pug and Daisy Beagle

l-r: Miss Kitty, Frankenstein, Leonardo deCatsMeow and Cat Benacar

And even though my brain KNOWS she is an adult with adult responsibilities, in my heart, this is how I still see her.

Happy Birthday to my one and only baby girl. You are everything that makes my world perfect and beautiful. I Love you always, Mommy!

Happy Independence Day and a little buzz...

 I hope everyone has a happy and safe celebration this weekend!

While surfin' the web today I came across a series -This Built America- based on businesses for Made in America products. One of  the featured videos was for Kelley Beekeeping. 

They have expanded into chicken flock keeping by building and selling nesting boxes but I didn't see those on the website. It is noted they have products at Rural King. I LOOOOVVVE Rural King, haha.

How many of you bloggies use Kelley products?  I am not a beekeeper (to scared because I am allergic!) or a chicken flock keeper (well...because of my dogs and an unfenced yard--maybe someday) but  though this was great story on a  little company that has done right by keeping jobs in America, all while providing products to help people towards self sufficiency. You can watch the video HERE. And after watching this it made me have a craving for honey.

This made me think how many little businesses are out there that can proudly state Made in America, promote self sufficiency and --for the perfect trifecta--are environmentally responsible? Who do you know, that you want to share?

What are everyone's plans for today? Grilling out? Camping? Fireworks? The hubbs has some backyard fireworks planned and we are grilling out. Although I am feeling slightly inadequate after perusing pinterest and seeing all of the AWESOME patriotic themed dishes. We are cooking burgers, hot dogs, chicken and foil veggie packets. Nothing fancy. 

I would love to read about what y'all are doing, so be sure to post a comment. I am off to enjoy the day! Happy 4th y'all!

One more star in the sky

Today my Dad earned his wings. He left this realm at 1:45 pm.

The night sky burns a little brighter with the addition of new star.

My dad fought a valiant fight against Stage 4 lung cancer. Although it was really his entire body was riddled with cancer. He had an incredible will and strength. He did everything on his terms.

The irony is not lost on me as November is National Lung Cancer Awareness. Be thankful for your family this holiday season and hold them close.

Funky and Frugal Finds #14

Welcome to Funky and Frugal Finds #14

Nothing funky, but definitely frugal!!

"Let's go Krogering" paid off in a big way for me--all because my neighbor called to give me the heads up on this AMAZING deal. Iced tea makers and Blenders were marked down to $2.48 each. Yes-- you read that correctly. TWO DOLLARS AND FORTY EIGHT CENTS each.  They were marked down from $24.98. That is a 99.3% savings...Yowza!!

So I picked up some for a few people and kept one of each for myself. The trunk of my car looked like some things "fell off the back of a truck" haha

So everybody's getting blenders for Xmas, haha--just kidding!

Next stop was the New2You thrift store, where I found this adorable, pint-sized folding chair for my niece Lele. The  price was $2.97 and there was a 25% store wide sale, so final price before taxes was $2.23.

 I am going to paint it and re-upholster the seat with a super cute print. 

How about  Rustoleum apple  green paint...

and  this fabric from Joann's?

http://www.joann.com/novelty-cotton-fabric-butterfly-glitter-pink/xprd581926/

Lele loves butterflies and I think she will love it!

My beautiful niece Lele

So what cool , funky or frugal items have you found and whatcha gonna do with them?

Right now I wait

Right now I sit in the cool and darkened room of hospice with my father. The only light (other than the glow of my laptop) comes from the green and red glow of the pain pump attached to my dad. I am on the night shift. We (my step-mom, my brother L and I) have been taking turns staying overnight with my dad  to give my step-mom a break every other night. Because dealing with cancer in all it's ugliness is exhausting. In a very short time I have become well versed in the language of cancer. It is a language I hope to never speak again.

Today my dad spent several excruciating hours being re-imaged in order to receive some palliative radiation. It isn't radiation in the sense of curing, it is merely targeting the most aggressive spots of cancer to relieve some of his pain. You see he is Type 4 lung cancer. Which has a 2% chance of  survival given his staging. It is in his lungs, his lymph nodes, other organs and bones. Until today it was just words and abstract locations.  Then I saw the markings on his body for the radiologists to pinpoint and target the beams. They are every where--dozens of marks. His chest, ribs, hips, legs stomach, kidneys, and spine.... Silently I wept while plastering a cheerful smile and joking with my dad about being covered in graffiti.

More than anything my dad wants to go home, but he (and we) know he won't. He is so strong and stoic. All the nursing staff love him. We love him. They all have commented about how gracious he is even in the worst of times. He has a strong will but the cancer is ever growing and consuming. Everyday I come to sit with him. Sometimes there is a roomful of people-family and friends grasping at a few more precious moments. Many times he will awaken, look around and appear to be surprised of his surroundings. Other times he appears to be sleeping--only to be listening to the conversation. We have since learned to step outside the room when we need to discuss private matters. Such a sly old fox!  

Sometimes it is just he and I.  Some days are emotional as we deal with the baggage of unfinished business and what-ifs. Other days we talk about all sorts of randomness. And yet others are in silence as he sleeps and I study.  He said to me, "Little girl you need to be home studying or at school. That's your future. Don't waste your time here with me,"  I told him there is nothing more important right now than him. Then we both cried tears of sorrow and frustration--at the unfairness of it all.  Everyday that I am here he appears a little older and little more tired. We no longer measure time in terms of future (months or weeks) but measure time in the here and now (of days and hours).

So right now I sit in vigil. I watch him and the pain pump as it feeds him the medicine in a continuous loop. I listen to the second hand ticking on the clock and his labored breathing. I wait for him to call my name as he needs my assistance and then apologizes because he feels he is a burden and  I have to see him this way. And of course I always tell him to shush, it's fine, he isn't a burden and not to sass me, haha, I wait for the medicine to ease his pain and I wait while he finally succumbs to a short restless sleep. I wait for the first rays if sunlight and know another day has dawned. But mostly I wait for the inevitable.

I won't show you pictures of my father frail and ill. But I will  show you a picture of him when he was but a boy of 18. He had enlisted in the army, the bloom of youth still on his face. He was so strong and handsome. This is the picture I want to carry forever in my mind and in my heart.

Time is fleeting

The last several weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I received a call that my biological father is stage 4 lung cancer. It is a grim prognosis. He has been given 3 to 6 months to live. As my stepmother told me this admist the tears and breaking voice, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I was immediately overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions. Shock, anger, disbelief, and sadness. My heart is so burdened.

You see-- my parents divorced when I was 5. My dad  remarried and had 3 boys. Due to geography (they lived in Florida for a short time) and life,  I really didn't get much time with my dad, step-mom and brothers. Everything was always so busy. Life was moving at an accelerated pace and their never seemed to be time to foster a relationship. To reconnect. To talk. To laugh. To share stories. To make memories.

Me- the Christmas  (1971) before parents divorced 

I always believed we would have time to do all these things. And that phone call changed everything. And if losing my dad isn't hard enough, my mom is also very poor health. It is a difficult realization to know this is the year that I could lose both parents. It doesn't matter that I am 45--I still want  my mommy and daddy!

My mom preggers with me (1966). This also explains my love of dogs, haha

Me and my dad (1984)

Life is fragile and time is fleeting. Someday all you are left with is faded memories and tattered photos. Whatever hurts you are hanging on to, let them go. Someday arrives sooner than expected and you may  never get another chance to make amends, to make memories, and to learn your history.  A life filled with regrets is not a life.

And regrets? Yeah, I have them. I am sorry that I didn't make a better effort to know my dad. I'm sorry that I was angry at BOTH my mom and dad for things I obviously had no control over and not understanding the intrinsicies of their failed relationship. I am sorry I didn't get to know my brothers. I am sorry I didn't ask the questions for which I long to have answers. I am sorry I don't know my history.  I am sorry I felt like I didn't belong or fit in. 

So what have I learned from this painful wallop life has given me? My foolish pride, my anger, and my insecurities robbed me of something I can't replace....time. That I can't change my past but I can change my future. Let go of the hurt. Reach out. Apologize. Forgive. Accept. 


Today I took those tentative steps.  I met up with my dad, my step-mom and my 3 brothers for the first time in nearly 12 years.  It was a bittersweet reunion. I took some pictures (which I am not ready to share). I listened to the stories. I hung onto every every word, committing it to memory, along with the raspy gravelly sound of my dad's voice. 


I made myself hold it in and not cry...at least until I began the hour drive home. I am sure there are more tears to come. I just hope somewhere during this journey I find the answers that I seek. That I find the way back to my parents. That I find myself. And that I find the clarity to sharpen the hazy memories in my mind and next to those are new memories. Good memories. Filled with laughter. And always love.

It's a Wonderful Life (if only for a day)

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone had a joyful day filled with love, laughter and lot of delicious food. The hubbs and I celebrated Turkey day at my sisters house. It was a great time of joking, reminiscing and eating. There was more food than we could ever eat!

My brother-in-law made 2 kinds of turkey (smoked and oven roasted), there were 3 types of stuffing, all the usual side dishes and our mom must have brought 7 different desserts. There was poignancy since our Grandpa T is no longer with us, but our family is expanding as we welcomed our sister's fiancee to the family. (We did warn him and give him a chance to run, haha!)

Of course all the men gathered out back for a small fire. (Seriously what is the deal with men and fire?) The kids were running around, playing and laughing. The sounds of family all around us. For just a while we escaped from the harsh realities of ill health, financial woes, past hurts, everyday stresses and truly enjoyed each other. For once there was no in-fighting or family drama. It was as is should be. Norman Rockwell-esque instead of the Norman Bates, haha.

Eventually after all the food was packed away and the dishes washed, it was time to go our separate ways.  We made plans for Christmas (our newly engaged sister was volunteered by me to host-(ha-ha I am gonna pay for that one!), said our I love you's, be careful's and goodbyes. And so the magic little bubble that enveloped us for just a little while was gone.

Coming home, I was greeted by my dogs (Chubbs and Tovah), my cat Sam-Sam,  my Guinea Pigs  (Pansy and Petunia) wheeked and shrilled since they are cage bound. And while I enjoyed all the noise and chaos with my family it is nice to have quiet at home. The other thing that greeted me were the lingering smells from what I had cooked to take to my sisters and for our personal dinner tomorrow.  Just a hint of apple, onion and sage perfume the air from the stuffing. There is also the wafting smells of cinnamon, nutmeg and caramelized sugar for the candied yams. My house is so warm and cozy!

Reflecting on the events the day I am feeling pensive. I have a very blessed life. I am thankful for all the opportunities in education, employment and interpersonal relationships. I am grateful that I have family that lives local. And while I don't  say it very often (and I probably should work on that), they know I love them. Today was truly one of the best family gatherings we have had in a very long time.

If ever there a word that meant  Love, Family and Home I think today (Thanksgiving) is the very definition.

Don’t let it be forgot, That once there was a spot -For one brief shining moment That was known as Camelot.