Friday, January 13, 2012

The Fatted Calf

Curse my Eastern European heritage!! I come from hearty peasant stock as evident with my short stocky (some say fat, I say fluffy) frame. However, TODAY,  I have reached my breaking point. My crazy awesome muck-luk rain boots arrived and they do not fit over my muscular calves!! GAH...I am dying. 

I actually have shapely legs. It one of the few places the fat didn't settle. I am so depressed. The boots are even more obnoxiously vibrant in their fantastic plastic reality.  Even if I greased up like a pig and pole I couldn't get these suckers to slide over my calves. I need medical intervention. Is there a surgical procedure for  calvesplasty or lipocalvesostemy?

OH the horror! I shall have to settle for plain yucky boots from megawallymart.  Booooo.


  1. I'm shaped like a pickle barrel( a German Pickle Barrel!)--so things could be worse. But those are some seriously CUTE boots!

  2. Those boots are too cute! Lipocalvesostemy, Hilarious!!! Maybe they just run smallish!!! Yes that's what it is!! :))

  3. LOL! Not gonna lie. I tossed them in the dryer to warm the rubber up and you know make them all stretchy and stuff. No go...wah wah wah...

    So I went back online and found some sites that cater to the big calves endowed gals, that aren't ugly. Hope I find something!


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