Monday, July 21, 2014

Saying goodbye to my boy

I have cried a river of tears the last 2 weeks as I dealt with the knowledge of my beloved boy Chubb's aka Tubblywubblybubblyboo time had come to cross the rainbow bridge. My mind knows it was the humane choice but my heart is broken. It doesn't matter how many times I have faced this decision in my life, I am still never quite prepared for the onslaught of grief.  

To some people they would say, "He is just an animal". But he wasn't. He was my companion, my confidant, my protector and my family.

I hope you all will take a moment to join me in celebrating the gift of nearly 12 years I was lucky enough to be Chubb's human.

You were a roly poly gangly furball with the big ears and even bigger paws. And absolutely irresistible.

Those long nights filled with whimpering and crying because you wouldn't go to sleep without me. And then there was the actual  puppy whimpering because you wouldn't go to sleep without me. The terrible toddler years. Oh, how many shoes, sunglasses, pillows, and blankets did we replace because of the teething stage? I would be so upset until I looked into your soulful brown eyes and I would just melt as you wagged your tail.

You were the annoying little brother dog always tagging along and hanging on (literally) to your patient older brother dog Maxwell. I think this is the epitome of puppy love.

Even when you outgrew the little brother description

There were the rambunctious tween years when you would have "mad dog" tantrums tearing through the house at top speed, leaving a trail of overturned chairs, tables and broken  everything  in your wake. You were the alpha male with attitude.

As you matured in a somewhat mellow fellow you found some of your favorite activities involved riding in the car, eating and sitting as close to mommy as possible...preferably in her lap. But your all time favorite activity was lounging. It didn't matter where...couch, floor, bed, doggie den or steps. 

 The last few years have been hard (for me) as your steps slowed, your vision faded and your muzzle turned frosty. The one thing that never changed is the unconditional love you had for me and I had for you.  I hope you feel no more pain, are running free with a never ending supply of "ewies" (that's rawhide chewies). I love you, Tubblywubblybubblyboo. You will always be my number 1 boy!

If it should be.... 
If it should be that I grow frail and weak,
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
then you must do what must be done,
for we know this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
but don't let grief then stay your hand,
for this day, more than the rest,
your love and friendship must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
what is to come can hold no fears.
Would you want me to suffer? So,
when the time comes, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
only stay with me until the end,
and hold me firm and speak to me,
until my eyes no longer see.

It is a kindness that you do to me,
although my tail it's last has waved,
from pain and suffering I have been saved.

Do not grieve, it should be you,
who must decide this thing to do.
We've been so close, we two these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

by Julia Napier, copyright 1999


  1. Oh sweet Tonya, I'm so sorry...we understand all too well. Warm thoughts with you all.

    1. Thank you FM. I can get through (most of) a conversation without crying. Everything seems so quiet and empty without him. The most important thing is he no longer hurts. But oh how I miss my bubby :(

  2. So sorry--it's very hard to lose any member of the family--four footed ones included.
    Sending you big hugs

    1. Thank you Sue. It is true, he was my furkid. I can't say how many times I have turned to holler for him to come with me as I am leaving or taking the other dogs outside, only to realize he isn't there. ugh!

  3. Sorry for your loss--I know it is very hard to lose a companion.


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