Winter blahs

I have the winter blahs...or maybe the I just turned 46 and am unemployed blahs...

I don't have a good reason to be depressed--I just am. I am fortunate in many ways--we have a little savings, a cozy little house, the hubbs has job security, we don't know hunger and mostly are in good health...Am I just whining and feeling sorry for myself?

I am still getting up to go to school but that is about it. No socializing, my house is a wreck, and I have no motivation.  All I want to do is sleep. In the last month I have found myself close to tears for absolutely no good reason, especially since I am not a crying kind of gal...

I need to make repairs from the destructive puppy--eating my office chair, my curtains, chewing the corner of my step and peeling slivers of wood from the floor--not kidding! And no he was not harmed after doing all this--good thing he is so cute. And btw--he ate my Kohl's credit card so I couldn't even do therapy shopping!

I need to go buy the supplies for the dining room flooring update--plywood, adhesive and linoleum. I am worried if I spend the money these items will just sit in garage with all the other unfinished projects.

You see it isn't just me. The hubbs is worn out as well. Maybe we need a nice vacation. Someplace not cold, gray and dreary. We talk about it...ALOT... but then like so many other things in life it languishes and is quietly pushed to the recesses of our minds.

We are practical people. We think about who will take care of the animals, how all that money could be spent on the house or stay in safely in savings and let the spark of spontaneity wither. 

It is a vicious  cycle of broken  dreams, high hopes, and  indecision.

Is it just me? Is it the events of the past year finally catching up with me--the loss of my job--my identity and and my father dying-perhaps? Is it SAD-Seasonal Affective Disorder? Is it something worse? 

Typically I pick myself up by my bootstraps, give myself a stern talking to and soldier on. I am embarrassed for writing this and and have thought more times than I can count about deleting the post. But maybe the first step is to say it out loud and ask for help. Or at the very least acknowledge things aren't normal...

Are any of my bloggy friends out in bloggyland sad? Overwhelmed? Lonely? Struggling?  Because if you are--I know what you are going through. Maybe we can get though it together.

Thanks for letting me vent spill my guts.

Time to split

some wood that is...

My super secret surprise for the hubbs FINALLY arrived yesterday!  Fed Ex was kind enough to deposit in my carport instead of on my porch and I was very grateful because this mother is heavy!! It took some finagling and a dolly but I was able to wheel into the hubb's man-land  so it would be the first thing he would see when opening the door.

The hubbs isn't getting any younger and after several  (minor) back injuries I hated to see him splitting wood with a maul, wedge and an axe. I mean don't get me wrong there is something ever so he-manly about watching my hubby chop and split wood that makes me feel like I have a school girl crush. What is not he-manly is when he throws his back out, lies around whining about it and I have to listen to it! 

I would have LOVED to get the big testosterone inducing log splitters--you know the beat your chest and grunt, 32 ton, gonna  split a forest of trees log splitter's- yeah soooo can't afford one of those beasts (>$1000). So for now we will make do with this. The hubbs likes it, I like it was cheap (<$100) and  it is something even I can manage to use. Although it takes some effort on my part.

It took overnight before it dawned on the hubbs that this is beyond a "toy" and obviously it meant work for him. So he asked me this morning, "I guess you had some work in mind for regarding the log splitter?" Why dear, I am SO glad you asked. Why yes, yes I do. It just so happens we have quite a bit of trees to clear out from the creek line. And by we--I mean him.

So come Spring there will be a steady buzzing from the chainsaw as he cuts away the dead, diseased and scrub trees. This will be beneficial two-fold. 1) it will preserve the health of the existing trees 2) It will put $$$ back in my wallet. By cutting, splitting and seasoning our firewood--we aren't paying anyone else to do it.

Unlike many of my bloggy friends, we don't actually have a farm, aren't anywhere near off grid but we do hold those high on our dream list. This is another small step for us to be a little more self sufficient. Baby steps...

We have quickly learned, while convenient, storage of firewood in the carport is a bit awkward when you have to wedge 2 cars in there as well.

We will also need to cobble together a firewood shed this Spring. I kinda like the ideal of building one from pallets. Simple, effective and it uses recycled materials--even better!

Source

World's biggest spatula and a tortilla press

I was perusing the Lakeside Collection catalog and admist all of the tack-tastic items something caught my eye. And by caught my eye, I think my exact words were %@*^ that is a big @$$ spatula! Maybe the world's biggest! OMG- I HAVE to buy it!

Oversized spatula

Ok maybe not the world's biggest but it is pretty flippin' huge!You see what I did there? Flippin'? Spatula? Anyone? haha

And you know what? It is AWESOME for transferring the pizza from the oven rack. And it is great for smashing the masa dough balls when making tortilla's.

Then I decided that was monotonous and what I REALLY wanted was a tortilla press. Because y'all know I have an unhealthy obsession with kitchen gadgetry!

Now I'm hungry for some burritos or quesadilla's. Who am I kidding ? I can eat both and maybe  a side of tortilla chips n salsa ...mmmmmmm